Overcoming Financial Stress (Moms Have It Rough Sometimes)

Moms have it rough when it comes to overcoming financial stress. It doesn’t mean that dads have it easy, but the stress is just not on the same scale.

For one, moms may have to choose between being a caregiver or having a career. It’s emotional disheartening to go back to work after a short maternity leave. This is especially difficult if you’re determined to breastfeed.

From staying busy around the clock to squeezing in much needed self-care time, moms really have no room for financial worries or stress.

So today, I will share with you how I dealt with financial stress in the past. Hopefully this will give you a new perspective on money management as well as some inspirations to take control of your finances. Once and for all!

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How I Overcame the Stress About Money

It’s probably no secret that money is not a commonly discussed subject when growing up. If you’re like me, you were probably clueless about personal finance as a child and young adult.

Everything I’ve learned, I acquired through experience. And that’s tough.

When you add a kid into the equation, it can throw your whole formula out of whack as you juggle between baby expenses and personal finances.

Luckily, money could actually be an easy subject. The complication comes when you’re letting it control you rather than taking control of it.

Treat Money As a Tool

To be clear, money is and remains a touchy subject.

The reason why money can be so sensitive is because it elicits emotions. Even simple words such rich and poor can already paint an illusive, false sense of identity.

But in order to overcome financial stress, perhaps we must learn to manage money differently.

One way that had helped me was to treat money simply as a denomination of tools. Or rather, just a tool – a vehicle for the exchange of goods and services.

If you can become emotionless about money, you might start to think rationally about how to best use it, and where to save and invest it.

But of course, it takes practice and work to completely alter our mindset. In fact, I was once an emotional wreck when it comes to managing money.

It started when I decided to buy my very first home.

Turn Stress Into Progress

When I was house hunting, I’ve made probably every mistake in the real estate book for homebuyers.

Without much guidance, I jumped head-on into tying myself with the biggest commitment of a lifetime.

And I was stressed about money because shelling out a large sum of 20% downpayment was not an easy task.

After buying the house, I also experienced worries of losing my job and therefore missing mortgage payments. What frightened me most was the possibility of losing the house to foreclosure since I had bought it during the Great Recession.

But then I slowly realized that I had to stop this downward spiral train of thoughts at its track.

At this particular moment in time, it may be useless to tell me that “money is just a tool.” I was definitely not ready to understand it, let alone act upon it.

But having full recognition that staying stressed would just burn myself out, I turn to making progress instead.

So rather than focusing on the unthinkable, I started making plans. And from there, I’ve also set financial goals.

Set Financial Goals

I still remember that day I decided to sign a 30-year mortgage.

I succinctly recalled that feeling of skipping a heartbeat when I realized I would be paying this mortgage for the better half of my life!

The thought of tying myself to a debt this big was a huge commitment!

And as I started making loan payments and calculating the amortization schedule, I came to realize that I don’t have to stay committed to such a lengthy loan.

I could perhaps shorten my payment term by paying down the principal. And hence I made plans to contribute as much savings as I could to the mortgage.

Now, you might be thinking that it’s foolish to pay off a mortgage when interest rate is at an all time low. But I could assure you that the feeling of being debt-free is indescribably uplifting.

Furthermore, having one less loan meant that I could easily obtain a new mortgage should the right time arise. After all, banks care much about the debt-to-income ratio, thus they’re more willing to lend new loans.

And voila, debt can certainly be a wealth building tool when used wisely.

How to Take Control of Money and Overcome Financial Stress

Now that I’m a mom, I’m even more aware that money could be a powerful tool.

It could present us with choices, security, and leisure. Without it, it strains us from different corners as we become trapped with worries, despairs, and even anger.

And that’s why it’s ever more important as any time in history to detach ourselves of the emotional baggages from this tool. This is also something I hope to teach my daughter in the future if she accepts to learn it.

If there’s anything that I’ve gathered which have helped me succeed in achieving my financial goals is to turn stress into progress. Once we stop distracting ourselves with emotions, we start to rationalize the simplicity of money management.

And truth be told, this doesn’t happen on its own. Often times, it requires focus, patience, struggle and a measure of faith.

But when one action leads to the next, progress will inevitably be made.